Friday, May 20, 2005
Error of the Day:-
Rugby Club Dinner tomorrow, no, no, tonight now actually. I wonder how this endeavour will end.
Quote of the Day:-
From Alan Partridge - Alan is talking to his mate Michael at the petrol station about Badgers.
Michael:- "Well, I'd just hit one with a shovel, they're vermin, they carry TB".
Alan:- "Well so did the Bronte sisters, but I wouldnt kill one with a shovel, no matter how bad their books were".
Song Lyric of the Day:- (again cos I love it).
When I was drunk and handsome,
The world revolved around me,
I don't know how she found me - but the bastards did.
Drinking here on payday,
The world could drive you crazy,
Come over here and save me, won't you say you will.
Here I am a free man,
With nothing in my coffers,
I'm open to offers and I'm in my prime.
I'm to young to marry,
But still too old to mess around,
Let me be your carry-out at closing time.
Two noses shining,
Happiness is doubled,
Hits you like the stubble on a whiskey kiss.
God Bless the bouncers,
And happy-hour romancers,
You've gotta take your chances in a life like this.
Gibber of the Day:-
Too tired. Sorry
Love and hugs
Dan
Rugby Club Dinner tomorrow, no, no, tonight now actually. I wonder how this endeavour will end.
Quote of the Day:-
From Alan Partridge - Alan is talking to his mate Michael at the petrol station about Badgers.
Michael:- "Well, I'd just hit one with a shovel, they're vermin, they carry TB".
Alan:- "Well so did the Bronte sisters, but I wouldnt kill one with a shovel, no matter how bad their books were".
Song Lyric of the Day:- (again cos I love it).
When I was drunk and handsome,
The world revolved around me,
I don't know how she found me - but the bastards did.
Drinking here on payday,
The world could drive you crazy,
Come over here and save me, won't you say you will.
Here I am a free man,
With nothing in my coffers,
I'm open to offers and I'm in my prime.
I'm to young to marry,
But still too old to mess around,
Let me be your carry-out at closing time.
Two noses shining,
Happiness is doubled,
Hits you like the stubble on a whiskey kiss.
God Bless the bouncers,
And happy-hour romancers,
You've gotta take your chances in a life like this.
Gibber of the Day:-
Too tired. Sorry
Love and hugs
Dan
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Sorry about the last one
I was a bit pissed
I was a bit pissed
Monday, May 16, 2005
My Life - The Cider Play - Act One
A Midsummer Night's Tempestuous Lear, After a Twelfth Night on the Booze, Having Smoked a Couple of Hamlet, Necked a couple of Drams of MacBeth and Discuseed Much Ado About Whether You Like It.
Dramatis Personae:-
Anna Le Marv
Wise Bard and Keeper of the Secrets of the Ancients. Sister to the Shoogs, wandering Druid,and married to Matt, a Prince of Armorica.
Bilbo
A much beloved mother, cunningly disguised as a hobbit.
Big Welsh Ger
A Knight of Port Talbot. Fearsome his Battle Cry of Poop Poop as he smites his enemies with harsh but funny word. Much loved for his kindness, and jokes of a coarse nature.
Buddy
A Dog.
Chris de London
A child of civilisation. So cosmpolitan he should edit it. He needs a visit to the Wilderlands.
Dan
A village Idiot. Add cider for Smiley dribble.
David le Wurzel
A Prince of the Shire. Renouned for the speed of his chariot racing, his loathing of folk from outside the Shire, and for his rapier wit.
Ed
A Prince of the Shire. Ronound for pretty much everything - good and bad. Betrothed to the beautiful Lisa of Canadania.
Gaj and Buckley
The 'two gentlemen sharing' of the knightly world. Hard drinking masters of the booze, and keepers of the artifactual truth. They were however, once seen in a wine bar.
Hebert Rune
Wise man of Japan.
Ian le Stool
With his specially augmented helmet he defends Bree, the land on the farther bank of the Ciderbrandy river, which forms a buffer between the blessed Shire, and Didders where the wild folk live.
Jerome
A knight errant of the Shire, uglier than his horse, but beloved of the ladies for his courage and staunch defence of his friends - unless its funnier not to defend them. Fey. Has a Demon on each shoulder who get drunk and try to out-do each other.
Jonathan
Stolid and true, noble brother Knight of the Shire. True master of le Innuendo. Disbeliever in magic, a firm believer in the modern idea of science. Wise in all things but his faith in Welsh rugby, and hampered by an inability to not be wound up by the village idiot. Like now. Hehehehehehe.
La Famille de Vale
Sporty folk and beautiful people. The head of the house is much given to rat meat in pitta, served in a Ben Sherman Shirt.
Mister and Goodwife Riggs
A noble pair sent to earth to guide mortals onto the correct Path.
Matt
A prince of Armorica, married to Anna the Bard, Brother in Law to Shoogs the Druid. Brave and true, and exiled from his land for love.
Oak, Army of
Fair people who materialise in the Oak when your tired and emotional. Like Narnia but with less snow and more booze - keep your turkish delight, we'll have the Icelandic Vodka. From Sharon to Roy, the Juke box, watching rugby and the table football, all is always well in the Oak.
Poop Poop
A war Cry of Big Welsh Ger. Often followed by a weyhey, before he smites his enemy with boozy breath and scathing word.
Rufus
Fellow Knight of the Shire. Mad and beloved for it.
Sam
Viking Princess from the mysterious flat lands to the north east. Married to Jonathan, a Knight of the Shire. Wise speaker of the truth and sufferer not of fools. Beautiful and mysterious she will destroy lesser mortals in verbal combat.
Shoogs,
Wandering Druid in search of the truth, will one day return to heal our hangovers of all hurt and paranoia.
Sonya,
Queen of the Faeries. Fey and magical. Staunch believer in goodness, and foolishly believes the Village Idiot is touched by the Gods. Drinks posh wines and likes glitter.
Vivian, Richard of
Elderly Knight, banished from the north for grumpiness (?!?!?!?), now enthroned in splendour with his beautiful wife and child upon the legend wrapped Isles in the Channel between England and the other place of negigable importance.
Vusi
Poor time-keeping child of the future. Has an otherwordly belief in people and the inherant goodness of humanity. Clearly insane. A soul to which we all aspire.
A Midsummer Night's Tempestuous Lear, After a Twelfth Night on the Booze, Having Smoked a Couple of Hamlet, Necked a couple of Drams of MacBeth and Discuseed Much Ado About Whether You Like It.
Dramatis Personae:-
Anna Le Marv
Wise Bard and Keeper of the Secrets of the Ancients. Sister to the Shoogs, wandering Druid,and married to Matt, a Prince of Armorica.
Bilbo
A much beloved mother, cunningly disguised as a hobbit.
Big Welsh Ger
A Knight of Port Talbot. Fearsome his Battle Cry of Poop Poop as he smites his enemies with harsh but funny word. Much loved for his kindness, and jokes of a coarse nature.
Buddy
A Dog.
Chris de London
A child of civilisation. So cosmpolitan he should edit it. He needs a visit to the Wilderlands.
Dan
A village Idiot. Add cider for Smiley dribble.
David le Wurzel
A Prince of the Shire. Renouned for the speed of his chariot racing, his loathing of folk from outside the Shire, and for his rapier wit.
Ed
A Prince of the Shire. Ronound for pretty much everything - good and bad. Betrothed to the beautiful Lisa of Canadania.
Gaj and Buckley
The 'two gentlemen sharing' of the knightly world. Hard drinking masters of the booze, and keepers of the artifactual truth. They were however, once seen in a wine bar.
Hebert Rune
Wise man of Japan.
Ian le Stool
With his specially augmented helmet he defends Bree, the land on the farther bank of the Ciderbrandy river, which forms a buffer between the blessed Shire, and Didders where the wild folk live.
Jerome
A knight errant of the Shire, uglier than his horse, but beloved of the ladies for his courage and staunch defence of his friends - unless its funnier not to defend them. Fey. Has a Demon on each shoulder who get drunk and try to out-do each other.
Jonathan
Stolid and true, noble brother Knight of the Shire. True master of le Innuendo. Disbeliever in magic, a firm believer in the modern idea of science. Wise in all things but his faith in Welsh rugby, and hampered by an inability to not be wound up by the village idiot. Like now. Hehehehehehe.
La Famille de Vale
Sporty folk and beautiful people. The head of the house is much given to rat meat in pitta, served in a Ben Sherman Shirt.
Mister and Goodwife Riggs
A noble pair sent to earth to guide mortals onto the correct Path.
Matt
A prince of Armorica, married to Anna the Bard, Brother in Law to Shoogs the Druid. Brave and true, and exiled from his land for love.
Oak, Army of
Fair people who materialise in the Oak when your tired and emotional. Like Narnia but with less snow and more booze - keep your turkish delight, we'll have the Icelandic Vodka. From Sharon to Roy, the Juke box, watching rugby and the table football, all is always well in the Oak.
Poop Poop
A war Cry of Big Welsh Ger. Often followed by a weyhey, before he smites his enemy with boozy breath and scathing word.
Rufus
Fellow Knight of the Shire. Mad and beloved for it.
Sam
Viking Princess from the mysterious flat lands to the north east. Married to Jonathan, a Knight of the Shire. Wise speaker of the truth and sufferer not of fools. Beautiful and mysterious she will destroy lesser mortals in verbal combat.
Shoogs,
Wandering Druid in search of the truth, will one day return to heal our hangovers of all hurt and paranoia.
Sonya,
Queen of the Faeries. Fey and magical. Staunch believer in goodness, and foolishly believes the Village Idiot is touched by the Gods. Drinks posh wines and likes glitter.
Vivian, Richard of
Elderly Knight, banished from the north for grumpiness (?!?!?!?), now enthroned in splendour with his beautiful wife and child upon the legend wrapped Isles in the Channel between England and the other place of negigable importance.
Vusi
Poor time-keeping child of the future. Has an otherwordly belief in people and the inherant goodness of humanity. Clearly insane. A soul to which we all aspire.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Rant of the Day:-
Its me again. Staple me mouth shut, and feed me cider through an introvenis drip. DON'T allow me to voice opinions in either public, or in my own head.
Literary Quote of the day:-
There is nothing more productive of comic relief than politicians discussing morality.
(Sir John Mortimer - The Summer of a Doormouse)
Song Lyric of the Day:-
Here's a little song I wrote,
You might want to sing it note-for-note,
Don't worry,
Be happy.
Gibber of the Day:-
Usual bank holiday baffoonery, a modest amount of surreal, a little hilarity, some uncalled for comedy of the grotesque (this doesnt mean laughing at jerome) and a touch of pathetic fallicy (this also does not mean laughing at Jerome).
Yesterday, Sunday, was a bit of a funny one, taking some rubbish train back from Londers, I had to walk back to the Shire from didders. There are buses (long rant just ask) Grrrr bit cross. But sang to me-self merrily over a couple or 3 bottles of wine on the way home. Popped into the Prancing Pony for a quick pint in Bree before crossing the Brandywine into the Shire proper.
Went home, battered, got down to some serious reflection over a bottle of homebrew, before the Prince of Goldbury (I did call him this, I felt it was fitting), and his lovely betrothed Canadanian lady foced me to return to the Prancing Pong for refreshment. Was this wise. I suspect not. However, after we left there was 'a regrettable incident' in which two of the merry folk from the neighbouring Parish battered the crap out of each other.
Police called, ambulance and everything. All they needed was a hug and some cider and all would have been well.
Things I've forgotten to mention;- (possibly for a reason).
1)Cutting down a tree in the churchyard.
2)Jerry and the Badger.
3)The Rave at Scutchamer's knob
4)The bike and the hatchett.
5)Aunt Sally.
Too tired to explain. Shoogs, dig that crazy country red baby.
Love and hugs
Dan
Its me again. Staple me mouth shut, and feed me cider through an introvenis drip. DON'T allow me to voice opinions in either public, or in my own head.
Literary Quote of the day:-
There is nothing more productive of comic relief than politicians discussing morality.
(Sir John Mortimer - The Summer of a Doormouse)
Song Lyric of the Day:-
Here's a little song I wrote,
You might want to sing it note-for-note,
Don't worry,
Be happy.
Gibber of the Day:-
Usual bank holiday baffoonery, a modest amount of surreal, a little hilarity, some uncalled for comedy of the grotesque (this doesnt mean laughing at jerome) and a touch of pathetic fallicy (this also does not mean laughing at Jerome).
Yesterday, Sunday, was a bit of a funny one, taking some rubbish train back from Londers, I had to walk back to the Shire from didders. There are buses (long rant just ask) Grrrr bit cross. But sang to me-self merrily over a couple or 3 bottles of wine on the way home. Popped into the Prancing Pony for a quick pint in Bree before crossing the Brandywine into the Shire proper.
Went home, battered, got down to some serious reflection over a bottle of homebrew, before the Prince of Goldbury (I did call him this, I felt it was fitting), and his lovely betrothed Canadanian lady foced me to return to the Prancing Pong for refreshment. Was this wise. I suspect not. However, after we left there was 'a regrettable incident' in which two of the merry folk from the neighbouring Parish battered the crap out of each other.
Police called, ambulance and everything. All they needed was a hug and some cider and all would have been well.
Things I've forgotten to mention;- (possibly for a reason).
1)Cutting down a tree in the churchyard.
2)Jerry and the Badger.
3)The Rave at Scutchamer's knob
4)The bike and the hatchett.
5)Aunt Sally.
Too tired to explain. Shoogs, dig that crazy country red baby.
Love and hugs
Dan
